Aeschylus: Achilles goes on top. Plato: No; definitely Patroclus. Xenophon: They were just friends. Plato: Shut up, Xenophon. Aeschines: It’s practically canon. Aristarchus: I know it looks canon, but Homer didn’t write that - someone added it later. Shakespeare: It’s canon.
Alexander is just that incoherent guy in the corner going “SDFkjhgksdjhf OTP”
#history feels #all the history feels #sometimes I watch the Alexander film and cry #and roll around sobbing about how much he loved Hephaistion #and how I want to stab Kassander in the face for being mean to him #I have a problem
"His next stop was a place called Gordium, where they had the fabled “Gordian Knot” – a tangle of old-school NES controller cables so convoluted and fucked up that no human being could ever possibly hope to untangle the thing, even if they had the manual dexterity of a 19th century seamstress. There was a legend in the city that the man who unraveled the knot would be destined to be the greatest king to ever live, so Alexander decided to take a look at the accursed thing and prove his worthiness to the rest of Asia. He glanced at the unholy tangle of cordage, drew his sword, hacked the knot in half with one swing, and replaced the entire thing with an Xbox 360 and some wireless controllers. And that’s how a badass handles shit like that."